"Contemplation is the awakening to the presence of God in the human heart and in the universe which is around us. Contemplation is knowledge by love." Bede Griffiths
"Contemplative living is a way of listening and responding to our everyday experiences by consciously attending to our relationships with self, others, God, and all of nature. The goal of contemplative living is not merely the personal fulfillment of those who pursue it. Its ultimate goal is a global society that is profoundly just and at peace, as God intended it to be." Bridges
First of all, living contemplatively...BEING is counter cultural and I did not grow up for an appreciation for anything other than DOING...and most things I DID well. Doing things well was part of my core identity.
In the last fifteen years I've been slowly coming to value another way of living...being present in the moment, and living prayerfully, reflectively, and non-compulsively. All of this is held in a profound awareness of transformation in terms of my relationship with God. In formative years I was told of a God who loved me because of the things I did. And, God had very high expectations, as did I!
Approximately 15 years ago I began to attend "retreats," and also at that exact time began to be intrigued by the writings and prayer of Julian of Norwich. I began to befriend the time away from the demands of life and ministry. (Being on a pastoral team was extremely energizing and wonderful, but eventually I let myself be "all consumed" by those responsibilities.) Slowly, slowly, God's profound Love began to touch my core being and I began to see that God desired ME and not only what I did! I came to love silence and the spaciousness of retreats...time to BE! Of course, I couldn't stay "on retreat" so I began to discover how I might live the contemplative life in real life!
Here are a few things that matter to me:
I must have periods of silence each day for nurture and equanimity.
I refuse the allurement of a busy schedule. I've learned to say "no" to things that are not really for me.
Another way to say it...I aim to be selective in choosing activities...being free not to say "yes" to things that other people think I should/could do.
I usually only permit one night a week, at most! away from home.
I rarely take a phone call after nine p.m.
Living mindfully helps me stay centered...peeling carrots, making a salad, doing the laundry, making the bed, preparing for the work I do with Kairos, etc. have become spiritual practices, not just work to be done.
I avoid noise when possible. I do not have the radio or TV on continuously. When at home, I often eat my lunch in silence, prayerfully, enjoying and savoring flavor and texture.
Living gratefully feels like a partner to contemplative living.
I have several persons who I consider to be companions and with whom I share my journey. This helps keep me honest.
A few simple spiritual practices such as centering prayer, and meditation, and spiritual reading help me to live true.
I journal and see a spiritual director regularly.
Walking in a relaxed manner, releasing tension in my step, smiling for no reason...
I love beauty and experience the Divine often through nature. Taking moments to contemplate the sunrise or the sunset each day keep me centered. Watching for small things, small gifts, small delights inspire me.
I keep a close eye on my inner landscape and notice when I'm "out of sorts." Such times call for prayerful realignment of my spirit with the Divine and Her deep desires for me!
I am repulsed by drivenness and harried living.
I schedule time for extended silence.
(Last year I experienced the Ignatius Spiritual Exercises in four 8-day silent retreats. This has had a profound impact on me.)
My deep longing is to live, really live life...to be present to what is, accept and befriend this moment.
My life feels like a prayer. I am in touch with God's heart for our beautiful and hurting world...and I think it was Mother Teresa who said, "instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle!" YES to that!! There's plenty of darkness to curse, but there's no shortage of candles, and I want to be a bearer of the light!!
Holding the deep hurts of our world alongside of laughter, humor, and joy is a delicate balance. I do not mean to portray something somber as I write these reflections. When I notice small things and simple beauty, it helps to balance all the sadness of the world. I know that part of my calling and life purpose is to help hold the world's pain. This calls for extra self care as well. And, there's a plenty of celebrating to be done, too!!
So, I hope you are getting the picture that I actually aim to live life at a slower, more relaxed pace. I avoid packing my schedule full. I allow more time between things. I don't like to rush or hurry. This IS an ongoing spiritual practice. Some weeks I do it well, other weeks, everything is struggle!
But deep in my heart there is this place of "knowing" that I am called to live, to model if you will, a way of life that counters the frenetic pace of our culture. I am blessed to share my life with a spouse who also supports and values this way of living.
I hope that I am living a balance of contemplation and action! No magic formulas. No simple answers. Just living the questions, living true to myself and each moment I am given. No sense of "arrival" but a clarifying sense of what really matters to me!!
I feel as though I am slowly being awakened to the presence of the Divine and to my deepest reason for being.
